Rectors Reflections SUMMER 2006

Settling our unsettled lives – some more on the Breath Prayer

You may recall that in my very first column of Revelations in November of 2004, I wrote that one of the creative thinkers in the Episcopal Church characterized Christians as either settlers or pioneers (or explorers ). This description certainly fits other people as well. Settlers are persons who like to put down roots and settle in for the long haul. Pioneers or explorers are those who like to be on the move – one job to another, or perhaps one region to another. Sometimes Christian missionaries are pioneer types whereas members of monastic communities are usually considered to be settlers .

A settler probably best describes me. I like to stay put in my normal work life and vocation. Although I don’t mind some pioneering for vacations and times of renewal, I do not like “unsettling times”, those occasions that are not planned or welcomed. And it is precisely during times of unsettlement that prayer becomes more important than ever for me, and perhaps absolutely necessary, to deal with the anxiety of change. As Christians we can be intentional about our prayer life. One helpful spiritual practice is the use of a Breath Prayer.

A breath prayer is a prayer, which originates in the heart, at the intersection of our need (often unconscious) and God’s compassionate response. It can be prayed in coordination with our breathing. Eventually, it will move into our heart, and even all the cells of our body as we repeat it over and over. One of the most ancient breath prayers used by Christians is “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”

When we use a breath prayer, or a prayer of the heart, we “settle” into our deepest selves and we “settle” into God’s response to us. Nonetheless, this intimacy can be profoundly “unsettling”, so we must not give up easily. I remember an occasion some years ago, when I introduced a man to his breath prayer. It was “Father, help me to accept myself.” As soon as he articulated it, he protested strongly, “But I can’t pray that prayer.” This was a man whose own father could not accept him, nor could he accept himself – a profoundly addicted alcoholic, who had great difficulty remaining in recovery. I gently said, “But that is precisely the deepest yearning of your heart. That is your breath prayer.” Our breath prayer is the prayer that we need to bring to God over and over, until we begin to see that God is working the mystery of salvation and healing in our souls.

The Rev. Ron DelBene, author of the numerous books, including The Breath of Life, A Simple Way to Pray, led a Retreat in Michigan in the spring of 1980. At that retreat, I was introduced to my first breath prayer, which I prayed faithfully for a year. At the end of that year, however, the prayer no longer seemed to fit. When I sat down to reflect on this, I discovered that my prayer had been answered in profound ways and that God now wished to reveal a new prayer of the heart for me to pray. Over the years, my prayer has changed like that, perhaps, six times. For me, the breath prayer is like a underground river, praying itself continuously in my heart and breathing, even when I sleep. It doesn’t replace other prayer; it under girds it. It is usually the first thing I am aware of in the morning, when I awake. It is also the first prayer I turn to when I am “unsettled”, so that I can allow it to take me into the “unsettling” intimacy of God in my heart. It is there that we find can all find the “settled” stillness of God and the courage for all “pioneering”.

Meredith